You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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