Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
