Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
