i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
