We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
