that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
