she was so not down for the gang bang
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
