I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You're like the curious george of whores
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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