happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
