I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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