Nicole vs. Life
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
