Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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