I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
