The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
