So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My breasts were aching with rage.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize