AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
