he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize