Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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