is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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