I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Alive.
So much puke
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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