after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
