were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize