I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
