Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is Oprah even human
COCAINE IS GR8
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