I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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