A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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