i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
