Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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