So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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