So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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