i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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