Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize