She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
