Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
