She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
