i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
