fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize