I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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