I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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