just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
