Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
