please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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