he was CRYING into my vagina
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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