I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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