my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
