Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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