whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
