I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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