So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
