2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize