Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
