Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize