it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
