you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
