I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
