I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
