does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
