Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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