Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
