I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
