But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
