apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When did angry sex become our thing?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
