I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
