I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
