Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
