she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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