She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
