i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
